“hold off, Is it a romantic date?” Podcast Episode 102: The Chart | Autostraddle

This week on “hold off, So is this a romantic date?” we’re joined by Autostraddle CEO and

L Keyword

specialist
Riese Bernard
to go over: The Chart. That is correct! This occurrence is about lesbian interconnectivity — connecting with friends’ exes, pals setting up with the exes, therefore the culture developed by all those things drama.

Appear when it comes to news, remain when it comes down to mental running. And before that enjoy a game that assessments Christina’s boundaries: Would U-Haul? (Spoiler alert: she usually would not.)

Thank-you for the wonderful feedback after our very own premier! For those who haven’t however consider giving us a rating or review!

PROGRAM RECORDS

+ 5 years ago Riese build an
Old Hollywood information
that’s the intersection of most my interests.

+ Discover
the essay
I reference in which We mention hooking up with my roommates.

+ My crush from the few days Mj Rodriguez circulated a songs video for her track
“Something to Say”
!

+ As somebody who has just viewed some symptoms of

The Nanny

this montage
of Christina’s crush of the week C.C. Babcock was surprising for me with regards to turned-out she and Niles commonly both homosexual. (Christina tells me they basically nonetheless are.)

---

Drew:

I might end up being very okay with-it current. I would personally never add somebody else without their unique authorization. However the thought of each and every time someone had been like, “make sure you might be linked to me personally,” I would resemble, “Yeah, this is the life i have stayed. Really don’t mind.” Would be that weird? Usually a challenge?

Christina:

No, since if I happened to ben’t, i’d feel poor not. I’d resemble, “Wait, I am not lying?”

Theme tune plays

Drew:

Hi, I’m Drew.

Christina:

Hi, I Am Christina.

Drew:

And introducing

Wait, Is This A Night Out Together?

Christina:


Hold Off, So Is This A Date?

is an Autostraddle podcast inquiring the big questions. First and foremost, is it a romantic date? Just what are dates? Who happen to be dates? Will we like dates? These are the kind of questions that people answer about right here very specialist and lovely podcast.

Drew:

I’m called Drew Gregory. I’m an author at Autostraddle and a filmmaker and, famously, a trans lesbian.

Christina:

My name is Christina Tucker. I am additionally a writer at Autostraddle. I’m a loud queer on the net. I will be improving at describing my self as a writer and, notoriously, a lesbian. That’s all of us. Which is who we’re.

Drew:

Yeah. And the major subject recently will be the Chart.

Christina:

I simply thought it required a sting. I don’t know. That thought truly dramatic, but i believe it needed it.

Drew:

Yes. No, please, please, please. Thanks a lot, many thanks. No, no, no. The appropriate amount of crisis.

Christina:

Thank you.

Drew:

Yeah. Therefore we’re referring to lesbian interconnectivity.

Christina:

I enjoy that phrase since it feels like you should restart the lesbians. It sounds just like the connection to the internet isn’t functioning.

Drew:

Yes. it is very higher level, really innovative, but also ‘s been around since there’s been lesbians, i do believe.

Christina:

Yeah. I do believe students will say when they discovered the first lesbian fossils, they found a chart alongside of those carved to the mud. And that I think that’s just what that film is mostly about, right? It is more about the information? That motion picture with Kate Winslet as well as the mud fossils?

Drew:


Ammonite?

Christina:

Yeah, that’s what it is more about.

Drew:

I wish

Ammonite

was about cave females. I’d view that lesbian motion picture.

Christina:

Really, as I have not seen it, i will fearlessly say that it had been. Cool.

Drew:

Yeah. Because it’s like we’ve got many lesbian duration pieces, but we have now never ever gone right back that much. And I think it’s the perfect time we would.

Christina:

Why don’t we only keep having it furthermore back in time.

Drew:

Before we have to our main topic, you are however getting to know all of us. And I thought that it would be enjoyable playing a casino game for which you dudes could truly get to know Christina. So the icebreaker with this few days is actually some video game that I name “Would U-Haul.”

Christina:

I am, once more, very stressed about that. This might you should be the way i-come to the game. This could be my personal video game mindset, just a little high key, just a little stressed. That is fine. We’re all learning.

Drew:

I think which is fantastic. I believe that may push you to be more susceptible, perhaps.

Christina:

Certainly one of the best emotions.

Drew:

Simply a horror, just a severe horror. Therefore the manner in which “Would U-Haul” works is actually I’m going to describe a situation. Why don’t we refer to it as Christina follower fiction. And that I’m probably pause after every small area becoming similar, “Okay, Christina, i understand you have never stayed with someone, don’t want to live with someone. But under these situations, would U-Haul?”

Christina:

And that I will both say yes or I’ll state, “i am ready.”

Drew:

Unless you — really, we’re going to see here. But i am excited. I do believe I’ve perhaps cracked the code.

Christina:

You’ve cracked the rule? I’m excited.

Drew:

Why don’t we see how long this requires. And if you won’t ever perform, i do believe you win? I’m not sure how you’ll find champions here.

Christina:

I’m not sure that there exists champions during the online game of U-Hauling.

Drew:

Really, I’m not sure if you’ll trust that following this. Therefore I’m going to get going.

Christina:

Reasonable enough.

Drew:

Okay. Thus, Christina.

Christina:

Drew.

Drew:

You’re at your pal’s wedding ceremony. Despite the large number of romcoms you absorbed, you did maybe not check-out this wedding thinking you’d meet anyone because, really, this is simply not a romcom. This is actually the actual and regular longevity of Christina Grace Tucker. You take your designated chair and tend to be glancing at your cellphone once you recognize a lady at the table is wanting at you. She presents by herself as your buddy’s previous babysitter. She’s stayed a pal for the household, but she does not actually know anyone there. She appears like mid-forties features a striking angular face. You set about talking. She offers to allow you to get a drink. When she stands up, you understand she is six legs large, 6′ 3″ in heels. So that you know what? I’m simply planning to stop there and stay love, at this stage, would U-Haul?

Christina:

I am captivated. I am fascinated because I might get put only at that wedding ceremony. But to date I’m not U-Hauling anyplace.

Drew:

Cool. Which is completely reasonable. Totally fair. Okay. Which means you spend the entire marriage learning the other person. Absolutely only a sudden spark and immediate chemistry. And indeed, you will do connect and also the sex is incredible.

Christina:

Tight.

Drew:

And therefore this marriage was a student in Northern California. Which means you both increase the remains for three days to fuck and check out and consume at restaurants and bang. Therefore provide to divide the cost of the today combined area, but she laughs you down and it is like, “clearly not, honey.” So the after that three days are miraculous. You really feel your wall space tumbling all the way down. You are dropping faster than you previously have. Would U-Haul?

Christina:

So just for understanding’s benefit, i am having trouble imagining some sort of in which I got three surprise times off of strive to spend time with one I do perhaps not understand. That seems bonkers. In case I did, beneficial to me. But I’m not really U-Hauling at this stage. It will likely be a no.

Drew:

Great. Okay. Which is fine. You merely met. I have it. I have it. Okay.

Christina:

Many thanks plenty.

Drew:

So she comes back to nyc while go back to Philadelphia.

Christina:

That is where I reside.

Drew:

And you are texting everyday. That is where you reside and it’s really where this woman life. And you are texting always and you see one another several times per month. She’s extremely busy with her work, but she’s rapid purchasing you a train violation so you can arrive see the girl and remain at her beautiful brownstone in Fort Greene. And then half a year go. Plus one evening when you’re off to dinner, she requires you to definitely move around in with her. Would U-Haul?

Christina:

And proceed to Ny? I don’t love nyc. No, I am not relocating from the half a year mark. I’m not carrying out that, no.

Drew:

Okay, okay. Completely, entirely, totally. Wow. Okay. Which means you keep matchmaking long distance. She knows that you want time and the woman is happy to watch for you. A few more several months move. Its today already been over per year. The property manager tells you that they are offering your place to a developer who is investing in apartments, you are unable to restore it. You will need to get a hold of another location. Your now girl lets you know that no pressure, but her offer however appears. Would U-Haul?

Christina:

Okay. At this point, i might U-Haul for a couple of factors.

Drew:

Yay! Okay. Please reveal.

Christina:

Mainly, in a global wherein my personal landlord ended up selling the house to cultivate it, my property owner happens to be my companion, so as that may seem like something went wrong in our friendship. And that I should just keep Philadelphia anyhow. Assuming I have to maneuver in using my girl over here, that appears great. That is good. Entirely okay. But yeah, In my opinion i would need an external force like a mean property owner.

Drew:

That’s therefore — ok. Used to do believe you’d need to require property attain here, thus I’m grateful We understood that.

Christina:

Yeah. Which is just what actually has got to eventually me personally first.

Drew:

Well, I’m glad to understand what it does take. So theoretically, if perhaps you weren’t knocked away, exactly how much more time?

Christina:

Honestly, that could have gone on for quite some time. Philly and New York commonly also that far from both. I obtained room over here. We’re moving back and forth. We’re having fun. I really could have leave that roll for some time until I guess Shoshana becomes the worst person I’m sure.

Drew:

I did not know Shoshana possessed your property. Really, there you decide to go.

Christina:

There we go. Wow, that has been thrilling.

Drew:

Well, thanks for playing.

Christina:

I’m pressured, as clear.

Drew:

And that I’m happy that I’m sure… Maybe if you are previously, anytime anybody’s ever internet dating you and wants one move around in, possibly your gf told Shoshana to offer your house for the sake of the union.

Christina:

Honestly the fastest way — some body would just have to keep in touch with Shoshana and be similar, “only kick the girl away.” Then she’d be like, “Yeah, yes. Definitely.” That could be the way it occurred, regardless of if she failed to promote the house. Somebody would you need to be like, “is it possible to simply kick the lady out very she will simply overcome it and relocate beside me?” And she’d state yes. Double she’d accomplish that. That’s what relationship is actually.

Drew:

I like that.

Christina:

Yeah, that is really breathtaking.

Drew:

Really, I feel like we learned a great deal about you.

Christina:

Many Thanks. Personally I think like We discovered a lot about me, also. Threat of homelessness is actually the point that keeps myself transferring any situation, i assume. Wow.

Drew:

Well, that’s great.

Christina:

That was actually fascinating. I am just as excited to maneuver into all of our primary part because In my opinion speaing frankly about lesbian connection using this guest, with this particular special guest, i believe it will likely be remarkable, Drew. How are you feeling?

Drew:

I am thus excited. That is a specialized. By that, i am talking about an

L Word

expert, and a small amount of specialized in the subject available.

Christina:

I do believe a few things may be genuine, my buddy. I do believe a couple of things tends to be correct without a doubt. Can we wish present the visitor or can we want our very own guest introducing by themselves?

Drew:

I would love all of our guest to introduce herself.

Christina:

Guest.

Drew:

I will declare that all of our guest is the only Riese Bernard.

Christina:

Guest, speak.

Riese:

Hi, I’m Riese. And it’s really weird to-be the guest!

Christina:

Yeah, it really is.

Riese:

I had to not state anything. I did not also do it. Used to do state circumstances. I’d to stay right here calmly.

Christina:

And you also happened to be truly courageous. And your faces had been appreciated.

Riese:

Thank you so much so much.

Christina:

Though this will be certainly an audio average, Needs our audience to find out that Riese had been creating some very nice reaction faces during “Would U-Haul.”

Riese:

There is many ways are heard. You-know-what after all? That is what i usually say. Im the President of Autostraddle.com. And I also’m also on an undefeated kickball staff. And that is me. I have your dog named Carol. And that I have actually dated men and women.

Christina:

Congrats throughout the kickball!

Riese:

Thank-you. I have been involved with men and women.

Christina:

Great. Loving that. Which is fantastic to bring to the, this here internet dating podcast. That is great.

Riese:

Yeah. I believe that… will there be whatever else?

Drew:

No, i do believe which is great, Riese.

Christina:

Whatever you decide and wish share.

Riese:

I really like raspberries, the fresh fruit raspberries, and private pools.

Christina:

As opposed to…

m4m-hookup.org/mature-gay-hookup/

Riese:

You Understand when someone goes like…

Drew:

It is like when you strike. Yeah.

Christina:

Oh. Those tend to be gross, thus I just exhausted all of them from my head.

Riese:

Yeah. That is certainly all.

Christina:

Great.

Drew:

Really, we immediately considered you with this topic.

Christina:

That is true.

Drew:

Because first and foremost, obviously, queer women and non-binary people in lesbian neighborhood being like, I’m not sure, having sexual intercourse with folks which people they know have acquired sex with since a long time before

The L Word

was actually ever before a sequence. But I do feel

The L Keyword

solidified a specific cultural notion of the information with Alice Pieszecki. And so I felt like you’d have some insight into this subject.

Riese:

It really is genuine. A couple of article authors, i do want to state, of

The L Word

had this genuine data of those and their pals these people were attracting from the wall surface or whatever. And Guinevere Turner, In my opinion, was actually one of these. She chatted to us about this, which they had developed this. Because clearly, everybody because author’s room had banged others within the creator — you are sure that, and lengthy web of this generation of lesbians in l . a .. And in addition they saw that and they certainly were like, “Let’s put it for the tv show.” And some of those are on the chart. Like, some of the people whom … like, real individuals are throughout the data as a joke.

Christina:

That’s incredible. That is the way you understand you’ve made it.

Riese:

Isn’t that pretty?

Christina:

That would be exciting personally.

Riese:

And therefore if you haven’t seen

The L Term,

first and foremost, congrats. Second of all, it gets the centerpiece of a single of our own head personality, Alice’s, apartment. She’s everything over her wall surface. Plus it may be the name of a web site which they started labeled as ourchart.com that flopped. Plus the concept … and it is into the pilot, i believe. Within the 1st episode, Alice begins discussing just how everyone’s linked, because every person’s hooked up with this specific individual. And I also can connect you, as you’re probably a maximum of two levels away from me. And therefore was genuine. Like, despite Dana, who’d very limited experience because she had been a closeted golf member, they nevertheless were able to connect the girl. And that is real world because it’s true.

Christina:

That’s culture. Yeah. That is what tradition looks like.

Riese:

That’s culture. Which is queer society right there. Nowadays everybody else tends to make unique charts.

Christina:

Yeah. To ensure that would definitely end up being my personal then concern, was have either of you made a chart? Because Really don’t believe i’ve, I am also sort of today thinking like, what was this a year ago seated inside my house for if I did not generate a chart? Like, that which was the purpose of that, really?

Riese:

I do believe i have completed it inside my diary, in the same manner like … Because i love, I am not sure, organizing details, i suppose, as a thought exercise.

Christina:

Yeah, i do believe that’s additionally why I am surprised that You will findn’t done it. I like the notion of categorizing things.

Riese:

Right. Yeah. Because it is fascinating. I don’t know why it is thus fascinating, but it’s. It is fascinating to-be love, wow, most of these people, they may be connected. Its wild.

Drew:

About tv show, once ourchart.com is conceived, they have a real data that individuals can add on material. And I also feel something that you joked when it comes to on

To L and Right Back,

and now individuals state continuously is a lot like, if this existed in a genuine method, nobody would place their particular names on it, not one person would feel comfortable getting their particular labels upon it.

Riese:

You’d.

Drew:

I’d. I would personally be really okay with it existing. I might never add somebody else without their unique permission. Nevertheless idea of want, anytime someone was like, “make sure you are linked to myself,” I’d end up like, “Yeah, it’s the existence I stayed. Really don’t mind.” Is the fact that unusual? Is that an issue?

Christina:

No, because if I wasn’t, i’d feel bad not … i’d resemble, “hold off, I am not upon it? Like, I’m sorry, what?” No, that would in fact send myself into lighting moral anxiety about whom i’m as people, the thing I’m doing. Are I interesting? Perform folks {like